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The Aftermath Part 2
The days and weeks after David was killed are somewhat blurry, and I am sure there are some parts I don't remember at all, like who all was at the memorial, who spoke to me, and things like that. I believe that God has made our bodies so perfectly that we, ourselves, have an innate ability to protect ourselves from things so shocking that otherwise might kill us. Sort of like amnesia, for instance, when a woman goes through childbirth, the pain is so intense that our minds somehow protect us from that pain, enough so that we are willing to go through it again. I was dazed for at least a month, before the numbness began to wear off, and I was left with pure, raw, pain.
Tracks where the car first went up the embankment  Me, walking the path of the car
The third, and final "implosion" where the car made impact and the boys were ejected....  The spot on the ground, where my dear david took his last breaths
Me, trying to absorb the reality of it all  The violence of it all, was almost too much to bear
The day after David was killed, a Sunday, I went to the scene of the accident. I had to go there, to see it for myself. It was rough, but I had to. We parked down the road, close to where we could see the skid marks of Matt's car begin. We walked the path the car had taken, across the road, into the ditch, back on the road, again to the ditch and up the embankment. We could see distinct areas where it was evident that the car had made a harsh impact, then "nothing:. This is where the car was airborne and flipping over in a 180. There are 3 of these impacts. The final impact is up on a hill, and is so violent, as if a bomb exploded there. This last impact is most likely the spot in which David and Jeff were ejected from the back seat of the car. The ground has a large indentation, and glass, car parts, and debris was spread for many, many yards. The car also flattened a decorative brick embankment and damaged a tree.
While we were out surveying the scene, the home owner came out to greet us. He said that he was so sorry about the accident. Then he told me that his wife knew our family! She was Jack's first grade Teacher! My boys went to Forest Park Grade School, and all of the school knew David, he was a boy everyone would remember. Mr. Reiter (the homeowner) showed me the spot where David was laying under the car. The ground was still soft, indented, with traces of my boys blood. You could tell that my little boys head had made that indentation, and it was overwhelming. We lit a number of candles, wept and wept, and took photos of the carnage, or what was left over from the cleanup.
Later that day, we made the trip to the Milwaukee Hospital, where 3 of the boys remained. Jeff had been sent home shortly before we arrived, but we were determined to see Tony, and Matt. Due to the emotions surrounding this trip, I thought it would be best to see Tony first. I knew my emotions would be high, and I would be more tense seeing Matthew, since he was the driver. We went to Tony's room. I was shocked to see him. Tony is a big boy, very tall, and heavy set, strong. He was nearly helpless, pale, and obviously is agonizing physical pain. His emotional pain became evident when he saw me, and teared up. Tony had suffered internal injuries and was bleeding inside. He was febrile and they were monitoring his blood counts to determine if he needed to have his spleen removed. His would be a difficult recovery.
We then went upstairs (or downstairs..hard to remember) to see Matt. I told the others that I wanted to go in alone. I knocked and entered. Matt had his neck immobilized, and was scheduled for surgery to fuse his fractured vertebrae in his neck. He didnt see it was me at first. As I walked in the room, I saw a helpless, broken little boy, who looked much younger than 18. Of course I had many emotions, being that Matt was the driver who killed David, but he was also David's good friend, who loved David like a brother. We had known Matt for at least 6 or 7 years, and even allowed him to love with us for a time. But, my feelings at that moment were not of anger, but of profound grief, and sympathy to this boy. I could see beads of sweat on his brow, his eyes red from crying, his lips parched. He was miserable, physically and emotionally. I decided then and there that I would go to him, support him, love him, and most of all, make him know that I forgave him.
 David with Matthew during happier times  Tony, the boy's friend, critically injured in crash
When Matt saw that it was me, he just began to weep. He said, over and over, "Lisa, I am sorry", "What have I done", and "David was like a brother". I knew he meant it. I comforted him the best I could. I wiped his brow with a cool cloth, got him ice for his parched lips, and cried with him. This "man" was a shell of a boy, a boy who was changed forever. I knew he would have nearly as rough a time as I, for the rest of his life. His future was uncertain, he faced possible paralysis, and most certainly jail time. But, he was more concerned with how I felt about him, what he had done to his little buddy David, and what his friendship with Nick would be. He asked if Nick hated him, and if he could talk to Nick. I dialed Nick on the phone and only heard matt;s side of the conversation, Matt was crying out of control, apologizing over and again, telling Nick he wished it would have been himself, and that he would do anything to go back in time. They ended the talk with Matt telling Nick, "I just hope, that some day, some how, we can be brothers again. I love you Bro".
We prepared for the drive home. I was physically and emotionally exhausted, but had found some peace in knowing that the love, peace, and forgiveness would somehow help me heal. Now, I cannot claim for one second that I havent had moments of anger, towards Matt, towards the boys, towards the man who bought the alcohol, towards myself for not being vigilant enough, and even towards David. But, anger is not an emotion that I care to carry around., it makes for difficult healing. My grief is, has been, and remains the heaviest burden I will ever have, and my love for David is what presides most prominently and is what keeps me going every day.
More to follow.....
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The Aftermath Part 1
 Photo of David, taken in Sept. 2007 at a Festival we went to
I did a fairly lengthy blog yesterday about David's experience with alcohol, although there is much more to the story, which I still do plan on writing. Writing for me, is medicinal, comes naturally, and is a part of healing. It also is a way for me to express myself and tell our story as it truly happened.
 David and Granny
I cannot begin to tell you what it was like to hear that David was gone. There will never be another moment in time, which could compare to the sheer agony and total heartbreak that came with hearing this news. My mother was the one who had to identify David from a photograph that the Sheriff brought. She began to scream and cry, waking my sons, Nic, 19, and Jack, 14. I wouldn't be home until morning, around 7 or 8. My mother eventually came over to find me, and said I was "needed at home right away!" I could tell by the look in her eye, and by the tone in her voice that something was wrong. I remembered that Nick had not been home at midnight when I checked on the boys. I said, "Oh no! Not Nick! Not Nick!" over and again. She said, "No, it isnt Nick" So, I thought it was Nick's girlfriend, and started to cry for him. My mom said, we have to go home, Nick wants to talk with you. You see, my mother is not the most emotional person and it is difficult for her to talk about such things. I insisted she tell me, right there at the spot, where I knew I would at least have my friend there with me. He was my best friend. She told me it was David. NO! It couldn't be. Not my David! I literally fell to the floor, crying, screaming, hysterically moaning. This couldn't be true, no! For 5 to 10 minutes I paced the floor, crying, then laying down, standing up, not knowing what to do. My friend, held me up, comforted me, and soon I was able to pull myself somewhat together. It was then that I realized that I didn't drop dead like I thought I would if one of my children died. It was then that I knew that somehow, I was going to have to find a way to live the rest of my life without my beloved David, the light of my entire life, my GOLDEN CHILD. I had to compose myself to go see my boys, and to tell David;s Uncle and his Dad.
 Uncle
We were driving home almost in silence. I called where Greg (my ex-husband) was working and luckily got his machine, I only said, "Greg, you need to come over to the house right away"! I didn't want him to crash because of the shock. Then we stopped at Uncle's house, the Uncle who loved those boys more than anything. The one who took care of them, loved them since birth. He spoiled those boys like they were his own, and technically, by blood, we are not even related. My mother was far too out of it to tell him. Uncle could see that something dreadful had happened just by seeing me. I collapsed into his arms, and told him David had been killed in a car crash that morning. I never saw a man lose every ounce of blood, and crumble the way Uncle did. He was more than an Uncle to David, he was everything. David and Nick both worked for Uncle, installing Fences. I stayed and cried with Uncle for a bit, not wanting to go home, but knowing I had to.
 David with his little brother, Jack
David with his big brother, Nick
When I got home, the boys were waiting, both completely drawn, pale, and with red eyes from crying. We embraced each other in shocked disbelief, and clung to each other most of that day. Nick lost his best friend and little brother. Jack lost his best friend and big brother. Our family was now different, and would never be the same. The part of our family which held so much light, love, and constant laughter was gone and never coming back. The next several days were a blur, and very difficult to remember. I basically walked around like a zombie, probably for a month, too numb to feel much of anything. David's friend, and only girlfriend he ever had, had left to go to Oregon the evening before the crash, and I would have to call her. It was early morning here, so even earlier there, so I left a message on her voice mail, and just told her to call me as soon as she could. She called an hour or so later, and I had to tell her there was an accident. I slowly told the story, who was there, what happened, etc and then I had to tell her that David didn't make it. Christina screamed at me, "No! Don't lie to me". She began sobbing and dropped the phone. The friend she was visiting was also a close friend of David's, and he told me that he would watch out for her. She wouldn't be home for a week.
 David with the only girl he loved, Christina
Shortly after I arrived home, Greg got here, David's step-father, who had been David's dad since he was 11 months old. Greg raised him like his own, very loving, and did all the things Dad's do with their son's. Nick had gotten a hold of him at work, and Greg insisted Nick tell him what had happened. Nick told Greg that there was an accident and that David didn't make it. Greg became angry, and accused Nick of lying or playing a joke. When he realized it wasn't a joke, he began screaming, and ran out of work without saying a word, coming straight over here. Again, the embraces, and the "I can't believe it", "It can't be true" were spoken over and again. By noon, news was around all of our family and friends. At about noon, a group of about 25 to 30 teenagers showed up at the door, all somber and red eyed. I hugged the boy's friend Brodie for a good 5 minutes. We all went outside and just sat in the yard, saying very little, this was too much.
 Greg with the boys, Nick, Jack, and little David
Friends, family, neighbors, and acquaintances began bringing food for our family, for which I am so Thankful. I was in no condition to even think about food. I had to start planning a Funeral. How could I? 3 of his friends were in the Hospital and his girlfriend wasn't due back from Oregon for a week. I knew the Memorial would have to wait. So, my boyfriend began arranging for our Religious Ceremony. This was difficult, because our faith is not traditional or common at all around here. There was much preparation to do, but somehow it got done.
 A happy family of 4, Jack, mama, David, and Nick
 David, a flower in God's Garden
Enough for now, To be continued.
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About Teen Alcohol use
I have gone to many websites, groups, and forums lately, mostly to reach out to other grieving mothers, but also to speak about the problem we have with Teenagers drinking and driving. Most groups and people I have met have been completely welcoming, understanding, and have become friends. Unfortunately, there have been a few instances where things are not so friendly. If I post regarding the dangers of drunk driving among teenagers I may find myself being verbally attacked, my integrity and poor parenting skills called in to judgment, and some even go so far as to name call, not just me, but my son David, as well.
Because I have been outspoken on certain issues with drunk driving among teens, and what I see to be flaws in our State's Laws on Alcohol, I have been met with anger and rudeness. I have even had people say that David got what he deserved, because he broke the Law, and those who have suggested it just may be my parenting to blame. To say this doesn't sting a little would be a lie, it does in some way. But, in my heart, I know that I was the best parent I could have been, and that David knew every day of his life, how much he was loved and cared for. I NEVER condoned drinking at my home, or elsewhere, for my son. I have never denied the fact that David liked to drink alcohol. I wouldnt say that David was an alcoholic, but he had a propensity to it. He had several incidents with alcohol, but this was never an often thing, but still, given our family history with addiction, I worried for my son.
In December 2006, David was brought home unconscious by a friend, coincidently the friend who was the driver in the crash in which David was killed. But, at that time, Matthew was the responsible one who found David and knew he had to get help for him. He sure did need help. The same man (25 year old Peter Palermo) who bought the boys alcohol
the night of the crash, had also bought them some 211. 211 is a potent malt liquor, with a high alcohol content. When David was brought in, his pants were around his ankles, and he was unable to speak or sit up. We promptly had the Rescue Squad bring him to the Hospital. He was in an alcohol coma, with an alcohol level of 0.038. At this level, up to 75% of the population would die, many would suffer brain damage. David was in a coma in the Intensive Care for the first 24 hours. I was so happy when he awoke, and showed no damaging signs.
After his Hospital stay, he was transferred to an in-patient treatment facility, where he stayed for 10 days. Soon, I was seeing my sweet, happy, intelligent boy emerge, and I couldnt have been happier. I wish this would have been the last time with alcohol, but it was not. About 6 months later, there was another episode. David was drinking, some beer I think, and someone, one of his friends, gave him a Xanax Bar. These bars are highly potent, and are meant to be split up into multiple doses. Xanax can also have many side effects, depending on the person, and is especially dangerous when mixed with alcohol. We do not know for sure how much Xanax David took, but most likely an entire Bar, along with beer. He became belligerent, obnoxious, and almost aggressive. His older brother had to keep him in control until we could get the Police here to help us. David was hospitalized for the second time, this time in Winnebago for a week.
He came out of the Hospital a new person, or should I say, the "old" David. He was fantastic, healthy, happy, etc He spent last summer working along side of his brother and Uncle. In his off time, he hung out with his friends and brothers. We had a great summer, and we had absolutely no problems with David. He was finally growing up. I was so proud of him. He started to think about his future, what it held for him, and what he wanted to do with his life. I saw so much maturity in David last summer. He was becoming a man, a man I was proud of. We were doing things together as a family, or just him and I. We were as close as any mother and son could be, he was the light of my life. Our family was happy again, and this happiness went on through most of 2007.
The night of Nov. 2, 2007 is difficult to talk about. It was my then boyfriend's birthday, and we decided to go out to dinner, and maybe more. After dinner, we came back over to our house, so I could check on the boys. When we pulled in, I could see that Nic's car wasn't there, very unusual. Nic had gotten a call, and went to talk with a friend. Jack was asleep on the couch. My mother was home, sleeping, but with her door open to listen for noise. David was there in the kitchen, along with Ty, Jeff, Tony, and Matt. They were all happy, in good moods, and cooking some Macaroni and cheese. There was no hint of alcohol, no smell of it, no slurring of speech, nothing. I asked David if he was behaving, and he said "Yes, Mama" So, I told him to be good and that I would see him later.
Now, for the record, I do not do the "nightlife" thing. I cannot remember the last time I had been out, but this was a special occasion, I was with someone I cared about, and the boys were fine and safe, so I thought. What I didn't know is that the boys had an older "friend", 25 year old Pete Palermo buy Vodka for them, and it was hidden, until "the coast was clear". After I was gone, just 2 blocks from the house, the boys started drinking this Vodka, mixed with Cranberry Juice. Ironically, I also had a Vodka and cranberry juice, just blocks from where the boys were. I saw these boys at 12:10 AM, and in ONE HOUR's time, David was in a ditch, fighting for his life.
The boys drank some Vodka, not all of it, but what they did drink, they drank quickly. They weren't what you may call "wasted" but drunk enough. Tony was my son Nick's friend, and he did not drink with them.The boys that were drinking were David, 17, Jeff, 17, Tyler, 15, and Matt, 18. Tony had been in another part of the house, and didn't know they were drinking. A little past 12:30 Tony asked Matt for a drive home. All of the boys decided to go with, because Tony lives just 6 to 8 blocks from our house. There weren't any plans to go anywhere else, David didn't even wear his shoes, it was a cold November night.
Matt decided, on his own, not to take Tony directly home. He instead decided to "take a cruise: out onto the Country Roads. We never would have allowed David to go out driving with Matt, even sober, because he was notorious for reckless, speeding driving. He was driving fast, accelerating all the way out 60th Street, highway K in Kenosha County. I must tell you that this road is dark, with much light at all, and the road is curvy all the way out. Somehow, he was able to get that little car up over 80 mph, and even blew through the Intersection at Highway 45. Thanks God he didn't hit a car there!! The boys started freaking out, and were begging Matt to slow down, stop, or turn around. Matt refused, instead he laughed and said, "Its not a problem". He accelerated, the kids were screaming, and I was told that David said, "Matt, slow the fuck down, or I am going to bitch slap you". After this, Matt was unable to negotiate a turn on the dark curvy road, he lost control and spun out. From the beginning of the skid marks to where the car stopped (landed) was nearly 500 ft. It went up an embankment, and flipped no less than three times. The final flip caused Jeff and David, sitting in the backseat with Ty, who Thank God was seat belted, to be ejected through the back window.
Jeff flew up on to the hill, and David fell down into the ditch, face first in to a muddy ditch. With Gravity, the car was also pulled down, and fell on top on my little boy, who was awake and conscious through the entire ordeal. David was the toughest and strongest boy I ever knew, and from I have been told, he fought to free himself from under the car. But, his body positioning would not allow him to leverage himself, and he was stuck. Responders to the scene reported finding Matt by David's side, desperately trying to free his little buddy, and David crying to get out. Jeff was wandering around in a daze, head wound, with blood all over him. Matt had broken his neck, and pieces of vertebrae were visible through the back of his neck. Tony had been seat belted in the front seat, but he received critical internal injuries. He was found laying on the ground near the car. Only Tyler, escaped with bruises and scratches. But, what he witnessed, seeing his best friend under the car, fighting for his life, and eventually losing, is an emotional injury that he will forever live with.
A Sheriff's Deputy was quickly on the scene, and this man, a true hero, got under the car, lay with my David, holding his sweet face up out of the mud, he held his hand and comforted him. He tried to help him free himself, but when it became apparent that David had no more fight, this Deputy, Dan McCann, was holding my David's hand when he gave up the fight, and took the hand of God. This event was not a quick one, it was a very long and painful ordeal. We do not know exactly how long David was under the car alive, but it was upwards of 30 minutes. I can get physically sick if I think too much about that. Also, since Dep. McCann was under the vehicle with David, his walkie talkie recording much of what was going on. I have these recording, but have been unable to listen to much of them. I can't.
3 boys were helicopter flighted to a Trauma Center in Milwaukee. David's Helicopter landed in the driveway, feet from where David was, but by the time the removed the car from on top of him, he was unable to be revived. David had broken nearly all of his ribs on the right side, and several on the left. David was crushed to death by the weight of the car, crushing his chest. While David, at first was calm and just trying to "get out of here", he eventfully became tearful and frantic, he yelled and cried. But, thanks to Dep. McCann and to my own son's faith in God, he found peace there before dying. David's last words were, "I am tired. I am going to sleep now".
I can't write anymore right now, but will try to finish this story later. Thanks for reading:)
Much more to follow, pardon any editorial errors...I wrote this quickly, will fix as I see them
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David, always active, especially outside
David was my child who could ALWAYS find something to do. He hardly ever complained of boredom, or looked to me to entertain him. He could occupy himself easily, with so many things. Inside, he liked to play his instruments, like guitar, drums, or wind instruments. He also loved to read and draw. His favorite "game" was playing with his Legos. He had a large Legos collection, and did some fantastic "pieces of art". But, David spent much of his time outdoors, day or night, summer or winter. He loved playing outside. In the summer, he would swim, bike, ride his skateboard, and all the things boys love to do. But, he especially loved playing in the woods. He felt at home there. He built some fantastic tree forts, some quite elaborate. He loved climbing trees, or just about anything climbable. Here are some of my favorite photos of david, doing some of his outdoor things.
 David in his backyard Tree Fort David, way high up in one of our trees
 Playing in the Woods All three brothers on a camping trip to Upper Michigan Just "chillin" with his friends "Fighting" with brothers Boys taking a break David showing the girls a seagull, up close at lake Michigan David loved to fish...I made this one doing some "photo editing" How I miss this boy! We did so much together, but not nearly enough. We still had so much to do, so many places to go, things to see. David never got the opportunity to fly in a plane, travel across the country, ride in a train, or even get his drivers license. But, my little boy can fly now! I look forward to the day when I go home, to Heaven, to David, who will greet me with his beautiful smile, a hug, and a "Welcome Home". We will fly together! I love you David Loring
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Brothers
I sometimes get so wrapped up in my grief of missing David, that I may not always pay enough attention to what my boys are going through. I have 2 surviving sons, Nick, who is19, and Jack, who is 14. David's passing has impacted them greatly, as well, and all of us are struggling to get through this, work through get grief, find some sense of peace, and also to find our "new identities". My sons were all born within 5 years. These boys were as close as any brothers could be, and really were each others best friends. They did everything together from the beginning, and stayed close their entire young lives.
Each of the boys were friends with the other boys friends, really, it was a great big extended group of friends. Nick's friends were also David's and Jack's and vice versa. Everything a family member did, the others also did. We went on trips together, as a family. Very little time was spent apart. Our last trip was to Madison, just weeks before David was killed. We went to Madison for a long weekend in October, and stayed in a Hotel up there. It was crazy, jamming all of us into a pick-up truck, and staying in one Hotel room, but we wouldn't have had it any other way.
To say that truck was packed, would be an understatement. In all there were 7 of us, including myself, Nick, David, Jack, Tony, Tyler, and Jeff. But, we had a bast, and although I didn't really want to go when we were taking off from home, I ended up having a great time. The weather was absolutely perfect, and although David had not only broken his foot just weeks before the trip, he also had developed pneumonia, and had been in the Hospital a week before our trip. But, David, being who David was, was a complete trooper. There was no way he was going to miss this trip! He was over the worst of the illness, but he was sure hobbling around Madison. He never complained. I could tell he was hurting, but still, he kept up with everyone, walking miles and miles. Thankfully, Jeff brought his video camera, and this last video we have of our trip is so special to us. I wouldn't have traded these 2 plus days with my boys, and especially with David, for anything.
But, what my intentions for writing this initially, was to attempt to explain how hard this has been on the boys. Nick, David, and jack were THREE BROTHERS. They were always THREE. Everything is different now. Everyone's role has changed. No longer is Nick the brother to look out for David. No longer is Jack the brother to be trying to keep up with David. The atmosphere at our home is different, and each of our relationships with everyone else has changed. I can say, with pride, that our individual relationships with the other surviving members has changed for the better. Nick and Jack have developed a bond like never before. Nick has stepped up to the plate, and has made me proud. Jack had been having so much difficulty after David died. He was depressed, having trouble day to day. It was gut wrenching. But, over months, we are growing closer than ever. We are getting along great. Its only drawback, is that I wish David were still here to enjoy the tranquility that we are finally finding as a family. Not a moment goes by that my thoughts do not return to David. We talk of him often, but not as much utter fear and anguish is present. My heart aches for him, but I am trying my best to adapt in even some small way, to give Jack and Nick the mother they so much need and desire.
Posted are some of the many, many photos we have of the boys, some with their friends and other family, but mostly just of MY THREE SONS. We miss you David Loring.
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Artwork and Schoolwork of David's
Little explanation is needed, the photos speak for themselves.
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Remembering David
 The boys at Discovery Zone
I had just posted a pic on another forum, and this pic got me to thinking about some special times with david. When the boys were small, I took them EVERYWHERE. These boys had THE LIFE. I can look back and smile, and know that David had a very happy childhood, had a lot of fun, and knew he was loved. One of our favorite places, was a kids restaurant/activity center called Discovery zone. It was full of tubes and mazes that the kids (and this momma) could climb up and around in. This was like a paradise to David. Well, one visit, we were looking all over for david, but then again, he would "disappear" often. Well, the "staff" found him. He had climbed to the top of the "tubes" and somehow managed to get "around" them. David had climbed straight into the HEATING DUCTS!!
LOLOLOL Staff had to clear everyone out of there, and try to fish David out of the Ducts. OMG, Thats MY DAVID! He was a laugh a minute, seriously. I am so glad to have such happy memories of such a happy, and active boy. Love you David Loring!!
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About David's Nickname
David loved bugs of any kind. I never knew what kind of creature I might find in a jar on my kitchen when I would come home from work. One day, when David was around 2 1/2, he came running in the house, yelling "Mama, look at these. They are my girlfriends!" David had his arms covered with earwigs....He became earwig that very day, which later turned to Wiggy or Wiglet. Dang, I miss you Wiglet.
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David, my Monkey
 
David spent half of his life up a tree, or climbing something. He could scamper up a tree so quickly, up a rope, a building. He loved being up on high places, looking out at the world, or down on everyone else who wouldn't dare go so high. He must have got that from me, as I used to go building climbing in Chicago when I was a teenager. He had no fear, lol
I remember when he was 13, he developed an infection in his leg. He got a scrape from a skateboarding accident. Well, in typical David fashion, he goes and develops this horrible infection from the scratch. 5 days after it happened his entire knee swelled, he got a fever to 104 degrees, and had a pus filled abscess. He ended up in the Hospital for 10 days, in isolation because of the type of bacteria involved, had knee surgery, the whole she-bang. Poor kid. He was getting several types of antibiotics, so every couple hours was another one. He ended up going through dozens of intraveneous lines, his veins getting irritated by the drugs, so they would need to be replaced sometimes more than 5 times a day. Yet, he NEVER complained. Not even when he had to have his wound packed with gauze. The whole in his knee was close to 2 inches deep, and boy did that leave a scar....maybe it has something to do with after he was well enough to go home. I didn't even have his belongings out of the car, and I look out to see why Nick is yelling "Hey mom! Look at David"! David, just out of the hospital, after nearly losing his leg, and his life, complete with leg brace from foot to thigh, was 20 feet up our tree, just sitting there. This was David. How could I possibly get mad at him? I have told this story so many times....it was even one of David's favorite stories. We have lots of David stories....I love you David, my monkey!
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My Brother David...from Jack
 Me with My Brother David
David, you were the coolest guy,
I don't know why you had to die.
I try so hard to understand
why you couldn't grow up to be a man
Even though we had our fights,
all through our lives we were tight
I bugged you, yeah sometimes I was a pest
By your side I'd stay, cuz you were the best.
So many good times I just want back
but the memories shared will last and last
I will never forget the last thing you said
"Peace Bro" will always be stuck in my head
This is our home where you belong
its hard to take that you are gone
Our hearts are broken, as you know,
Its been so hard to let you go.
Sometimes you were so crazy and wild,
We all knew you were mom's special child,
I know that everyone here will agree ,
that you were the best, the best brother that could be
We wish so much that you were here,
Just to be together, just to have you near
It's happy thoughts that will get us through,
Like all the fun we shared with you.
And now my poem will come to an end,
Until the day I see you again
I'm growing up, I'll make you proud
and care for mom while you watch from your cloud
Peace Bro...I love you David
from Jack
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Davidisms.....or not
Everyone has a Davidism. He was famous for the things he said, the things he did, and even just the way he would look at you. I think I will need to devote 2 Chapters exclusively for Davidisms when I write his book. The night of Nov 2, 2007 I did something I haven't done for years. I went out on the town with a friend. I am not a party person, a drinker, a night owl. I am a boring mom. But, I was in love, the boys were older, and I ducked out to celebrate my friends Birthday. We had the greatest time. Really, one of the best nights of my life. Half of it, or more, was spent talking about David.
It seems David was always my topic of conversation. He was just so interesting, and when ever I spoke of him, I couldn't help but smile, and feel warm inside, knowing THIS BOY WAS MY CHILD. The ironic thing about this one night in particular, the one and only time I went out for the night, was that this was the night David and his friends got a man to buy them Vodka. This night, the one I was so happy, is the night my David died. How much guilt and remorse I have felt.
Of course I know this isn't my fault, or my friends, or Nic's, who also left the house just before David went on that fateful car ride. I believe, in my heart, that Davids fate was pre-determined. That he was not going to be with us forever. He was wild and carefree. Indestructable, almost. None of us could have imagined that things could have happened like this, and all of us would give anything to take back that one night.
So, I was going to talk about Davidisms....I hardly did that, but tonight has been the absolute, single most, stressful night since David passed, that all I want to do is shout at the world, at God, at anyone who will listen. I LOST MY CHILD! I AM HURTING! I WANT HIM BACK! I feel like I could melt from my heartache.....David, you are so loved, but you always knew that didn't you baby? I miss you, and hopefully tomorrow, I can tell the world about some true Davidisms, rather than going on about MY loss. I am so selfish. I can't help it. You can never be taken from me.
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The boys
Greg is holding little Jack, Nic is the oldest one, while silly little David is barefoot, and the sand is hot. So, he is standing on Greg's feet, and sticking his tongue out. I miss him so much. My heart is breaking, and the tears never stop.
I was so fortunate to be blessed with such beautiful sons, and my boys were blessed even more with having a da like Greg. Thank you for being there Greg. You meant the world to David, and also to me. I love you always.
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David, the fearless one
David was born fearless, and was the most active boy I ever saw. He was climbing out of his crib at 5 months, running by 8 months, and we took his training wheels off of his 2 wheeler by his second birthday. He knew little about pain, although he had plenty of it, including nearly a dozen surgeries, various hospitalizations, weird illnesses and infection, but he hardly complained. Two weeks before David died, we had planned a weekend trip to Madison. I thought we should cancel, because not only had David broken his foot 2 weeks prior, but also had strept throat and pneumonia. That was bad enough that he ended up in the Hospital for antibiotics and pain meds for the pain of pleurisy. Of course David HAD ro go on the trip, and that kid hobbled around Madison for two days, still David, with that HUGE smile on his face the whole time. I am so glad we went. It really was a great time, with ALL of the friends (and me) and we are happy to have this as one of our last memories (on video even) of dear David.
David could run faster than anyone, climb higher, lift the heaviest of things, was not afraid to try anything...He liked to skateboard, snowboard, and basically just climb and hike...here are a few Fearless David photo's:
 OMG! firestarter
 Monkey  Nick and David teaching Jack to "fight"  Polar Bear Plunge (New Years 1998...he actually went in Lake Michigan)  Super Wig  2 wheeler at age 2 Nick and david at Discovery Zone 
my crazy kids
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David, the Musician
David loved music of all types, and could play just about any instrument he picked up. He taught himself, learned by listening and watching, and had a special talent for it. He started plunking on the piano by 3 or so, and got his first "real" guitar and amp at 6. He began playing both the guitar and drums more seriously by ten. He played most everyday, sometimes with friends, but most often alone. He also played a number of wind instruments, including the trumpet (belonging to his dad Greg) on which he picked up and quickly taught himself the Beatles "Let it Be" among others. He could also play horns and flutes, and had an Okarena, which he got at the Renaissance Faire a couple years ago, and he also still played that. Here are a few photos of him playing, and a drawing he did in grade school of his "band"
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Drinking and Driving Killed my Son
David was the kind of kid who everyone knew. He radiated light. He was happy, and had lots of friends.......
hung out with his brothers...
He fell in love.....
He was growing up, becoming a man, maybe a little too fast..
Still, he was kind, and always liked to "teach" others...
He was a bit "naughty"....
But, the boy I knew...
Became something different...
Sure, there was some genetic propensity to like alcohol, but on the night on Nov, 3rd, 2007, an adult man of 24 bought David and his 3 underage friends two bottles of Vodka while they were out driving around....this is where David ended up...
My beautiful boy, is gone from us....
And one of his best friends, who we do NOT put total responsibility on for David's death, is facing many years in Prison....The responsible one in my opinion is the ADULT who supplied the alcohol, not just his buddy Matthew...
All because of this....
David will no longer play with his dogs....
Chill with his bro's and friends....
Instead, My final moments with David's earthly body was this..
This is the worst pain a person can feel, her child dying senselessly by someone who knowingly gave a bunch of kids hard liquor. Dont do this....
I have my memories of David, as we all do. Please remember HIS LIFE and learn from the mistakes made...
Remember David... DONT DRINK AND DRIVE....DO NOT HURT MORE FAMILIES AND COUNTLESS FRIENDS BY ACTING STUPID.
Peace Bro. We love you...
from your friends and family
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[Total of 22 records]
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