Today, Aug. 3 is a milestone for our family. Today marks the 9 month mark, after losing my son David to a drunk driver. David Loring was just 17 when he was killed on November 3, 2007. I can hardly believe its been 3/4 of a uear since I saw my little boy, hugged his sweetness, saw his huge grin, heard his infectious laugh, or heard him say, "I love you Mama".
Our family has struggled beyond belief. Its your every worst nightmare magnified a million fold. Then imagine this happening every day when you wake up and realize your child is gone. Sleep becomes difficult, if not impossible. Your thoughts are of little except of your child. Normal life functioning is a distant memory. Friends you once knew drift away, because they don't know what to say, how to act. My child did live! Let me hear the glorious sound of his name!
My mother took our loss of David especially hard. She hardly left her bed for 2 months. She lost about 60 pounds. She basically gave up on living. You often hear about someone who has lost a loved one, especially a child or a spouse, has passed away quickly after their initial loss. I understand this. Its much more difficult to find reasons to live. Being happy almost brings guilt. It was overwhelming for "Granny", and she suffered a massive stroke on July 15. Our family circle went from 5 to 4. I cannot fathom the thought of us being only 3.
I have seen and heard it said that people need to just "get over it". This is a fallacy, a lie. I believe I am rather exceptional that I have been able to find some resemblance of a "normal life". I kept myself in seclusion for 6 months, finally venturing out not that long ago. I should have many years to live, and I have to live them without my beloved David. I don't have a choice. Its my duty to find peace, joy, and happiness. I owe that to myself and my sons, and especially to David, the most carefree and life loving person anyone could have ever known. I miss you David Loring! Don't drink & drive!
Trials and tribulations / Lisa Loring (mama)
My mom, Robin Loring
The loss of David has made our very small family circle even smaller, yet tighter. We are basically just myself, my sons Nick and jack, and my mother. We have all felt pure devastation with our loss of dear david. All of us have suffered. I have not written much about how deep the pain has been for my mother, Robin.
"Granny" was the one notified by the sheriff that david had been killed, and had to identify him from a photo taken after the crash. She was the one who first had to tell nick, then jack, that their beloved brother was gone. She then had the awful task of telling me, knowing it would certainly crush me, if not kill me right in my tracks.
Granny with two baby boys
My mother has been so sad, depressed really, the entire past 8 months. She yet has to find any sense of joy, peace, or reasons to live. Light is gone at our home, and moving on is something that has little meaning. Granny hardly left her bed for 2 months after david left. She began losing weight, a lot of it. She has probably lost close to 60 pounds. All i have seen her eat is crackers and carrots. She stopped taking care of herself completely. I watched her in constant fear, praying that grief wouldn't also take her from us.
On tuesday, July 15th, just one week after her 60th birthday, my mother suffered a massive ruptured brain aneurism. She was helicoptered to a neurosurgical intensive care hospital in Milwaukee. She had a profound, devastating hemmorhage in her brain, resulting in a coma. She was put on life support, and our family has gathered at vigil.
Granny with her David
Despite the grim odds for recovery, as most do not survive this type of injury, granny has not only survived for the past 4 days, but is improving!! She is now awake much of the time, and is actually oriented. Although she cannot speak, and is still on a respirator to assist her breathing, she was able to write a few words on a chalk board for me. She remains paralyzed on the right side of her body. We do not know if this is permanent. She has a drain/monitor inplanted in her brain to drain blood and monitor the pressure on her brain.
We are struggling again, but are a strong and loving family...more later. back for my 12th trip to Milwaukee in the last 4 days. Please keep granny in your prayers. We aren't ready to lose another of our small circle. i love you mom.
XOXO Lisa
Missing you still / Lisa Loring (mama) My dearest David, I haven't written as much here in the past month, not because I am not thinking of you, but because I am nearly at a loss as what to say. My hurt is as strong as ever, and you are always on my mind. You are my first thought when I wake, and everything I see, hear, or smell reminds me of you. Each day I remember, and weep. What a horrible thing for any parent to have to endure. Some days are so long, and it seems like its been forever. But, the memories of you are so fresh, like we haven't parted at all.
The thoughts of living a long life without my child is too much to bear. I don't think of death so much, just to be with him. I fear nothing any more, and think of little else. What else is there really? Everything else pales in comparison to the love of family, so every mundane issue in this life means nothing to me. I only want my son.
I love you David Loring, until my last breath...and we are together again!
David's Birthday / Lisa Loring (mama) As much dread that I had in anticipation for David's Birthday, me being without my beloved boy, etc etc etc We ended up getting through, and in fairly fine fashion I might add. All of David's friends came over for pizza and cake and ice cream. (complete with candles) We sang Happy Birthday, while photos of dear David were placed between the 2 cakes. I took a number of great pics of Terry, Tyler, Jeff, Andre, Stina, Celeste, Nick, Jack, and Melissa....
Still, the mood was somewhat somber, and some tears were shed. Lots of hugs for all of us, hurting so much, missing the boy who meant more to each of us than just about anything. We just miss him so much.
Happy Birthday my son. I love you...Always,
Mama
so sorry / Lori
Loring Family,
I am so sorry to see this beautiful young man has left us so soon .I see today is his 18th Birthday so Happy Birthday David .
I have 3 beautiful children and my oldest just turned 18 on may 15th and I pray every day to have another day with them as im sure you do and did. you are a strong woman to keep going and im happy to see you still have your faith. may God bless you in this time and continue to keep you going day by day. you and your family will be in my prayers and thank you for letting us see the pictures and stories of David once again I am so so sorry for your loss
Missing you on your Birthday / Lisa Loring (mama) I've been thinking of you dear David, so much more the closer it gets to your Birthday! In a few short hours, it will be your 18 th Birthday, and you are not here with me to Celebrate it. You were so looking forward to so many things, and I am heartbroken. I miss you more each and every day...every moment. I will never stop loving you my David...I love you with all my heart....Mama
David's Headstone...coming along!! / Lisa Loring (mama)
I have finally gotten around to working on David's Headstone (monument)...I know, I know...6 months! But, I wanted it to be perfect, besides he wasn't buried. David was cremated, and I gave all of his friends some of his cremains in small glass vials or other containers. Many of us wear them as jewelry. But, some relatives were really insistent, and persistent, that we do the traditional cemetery and headstone thing...I relented, and 2 weeks ago, picked the perfect spot for his grave, right under a huge tree in an old cemetery in Kenosha. I also saw many other people's graves we have known, many close by David's site.
We set out to find a monument, and NONE of them "spoke" to me, so we are doing a custom thing. This Headstone will tell the world who David Loring was. It will be the only legacy, or story that is around in a permanent way that says something about this boy, who meant so much to so many. Anyways, this is his gravestone. The shape is unique, sort of tear drop, but not quite. The granite is different than any I have seen, it is grayish, with flecks of green, and is not from Wisconsin or South Dakota, like most Granite comes from. David's granite will be coming all the way from India. (very fitting!)The small oval pic of David, will be in porcelain, because it is long lasting. Etched into the monument will be David's guitar, something that was an important part of his life, from about age 6. Along with his pertinent data, Name, birth and death dates, a quote will be etched, "Peace Bro". This was the last thing he said to his little brother, Jack, before leaving the house on that fateful drive...
On the lower portion is the unique design many of you are probably wondering about...It is a lotus flower, along with a Tilaka (he was cremated as a Vaisnava) and his Name, in English and Sanskrit...
I have some fine tuning to do on this, but so far i am very pleased...It is just a small token of my love for my son, and I hope he likes it...any suggestions, ideas, or comments are welcome:)
Lots of Love, Lisa (David's mama)
In God's Garden / Lisa Loring (mama)
God's Garden
God looked around His Garden, and saw an empty space He then looked down upon the Earth and saw your tired face
He put His arms around you and lifted you to rest God's Garden must be beautiful, He always takes the best.
God knew you were in pain and a cure was not to be, ao He closed your weary eys and whispered, "Come to Me".
With tearfil eyes we watched you and we saw you slip away although we loved you dearly, we knew you could not stay.
It broke our hearts to lose you, but you didn't go alone. For part of us went with you the day God called you Home.
Missing you on Mother's Day / Lisa Loring (mama)
Mother and child never truly part, they are bound together by the beating of the heart. I am missing you today, more than ever, on a sad and lonely Mother's Day. I love you David Loring.
Dandelions From Heaven / Lisa Loring (mama) (mama)
Mothers Day is coming...and I wanted to send you a sign... Something you can tell others..."Is from an angel of mine". So I searched the Heavens high and low for that perfect thing.. And low and behold I found it....and a smile I hope it will bring.
So when you look to the Heavens...and see the yellow stars in the sky... Just think of me...your angel... in the Heavens way up high... And just imagine those stars...are dandelions up above... Yes! Dandelions are also in Heaven...,which you know how much I love.
So on this Mothers Day... when you awake and feel blue... You will notice those yellow stars...are no longer in view... So just look to the meadows and the dandelions you see.... Are the ones I've tossed down this Mothers Day from me!
And when you find a dandelion that has turned from yellow to white... You're supposed to make a wish...and then blow with all your might. For you will be blowing kisses... to me in Heaven above.... And I will be catching them and blowing them back...sent with all my love.
Please know that I am with you...on this Mothers Day... And also in the days ahead...God and I will never stray... We will be with you in the morning...when you wake and see the sun.. We will be with you when you say your prayers...when the day is done.
For God and I will never be...very far from your side... For I can now be everywhere...and God will be your guide... So...remember when you see dandelions...its your guarantee... That I am alway close to you.... For dandelions are free to roam.....now just like me.
I will always be with you Mom.... Happy Mothers Day Love, Your Angel in Heaven.
David.../ Lisa Loring (mama)
Tears of sorrow in missing david....
2 days ago, a visitor to David's website posted something that our entire family found inappropriate, and insulting. It was out of line, and hurt me very much. After fuming about it for 2 days, and after doing some deep, insightful thought and prayer, I decided to delete this post, and continue this website the way it was intended. This site was started as a way for our family to remember David, and share our thoughts and feelings of his life, and our struggles without him.
While some of the postings may focus of sorrow, a few on various issues surrounding the more "difficult" aspects of our loss, I would like to keep the posting in a more positive light, reflecting who and what David was, and why he was so important to us.With this recent insult, it surfaced such deep wounds, wounds which are nowhere near healed. We are in the very early stages in this ordeal, just half a year out, and are experiencing so much change to begin with. Our lives have been shaken, turned upside down, tossed around...and things will never be the way we would like them to be.
David is our Freebird...full of life, wanting this for us as well
Our family is truly a close, loving one. We miss, more than anything, a most vital part to our very existence. Learning to live as a shattered family is difficult enough, and with the added burden of purposefully inflicted pain, it becomes even more unbearable...Its not in my frame of thought, or way of life to even consider increasing someone else's misery, so what happened this week, has gone through my mind, over and again. I just think that others are like us, loving and forgiving, and when that thought is shattered, its difficult to rebound. But, we must.
I will be facing my first Mother's Day without dear David, that is enough pain for this week. I will not allow another persons misery to be inflicted upon my grieving family in no way, shape, or form. Nick and Jack remain my driving force, the only thing that keeps me focused on life, on living. Without them, I would find little purpose in anything. Giving up would be easy. But, they depend on me, as much as I do on them. This is what family is, and I am still a Mother. I have to focus on being a mother to Nick and jack, and no bitterness, or whatever was trying to be injected into our all ready struggling world will be tolerated.
For david, I am still Mother...and for Nick and Jack I MUST remain
So, on to life, missing you David Loring, and loving you always. I mad many promises to you, to myself, and to God. And, I am not a quitter. We will be reunited when its time, and I look forward to that day.....
Not so Merry Month of May / Lisa Loring (Mama)
Missing you Buttercup
Springtime is what I think of when remembering dear David. He was born on May 27th, 1990, on a beautifully sunny and warm afternoon. It was 75 degrees that day, very nice for so early in the season in Wisconsin. The grass is finally green again, like David's sparkling eyes. Everything begins to bloom and blossom, full of so much beauty, again like my David. David was like a little buttercup, with his so blonde hair, round face, bright eyes, and cheery smile. He was so delightful and even smelled like the outdoors. I miss the fragrance of the wind, freshly mowed grass, and muddy little fingers.
I have difficulty seeing the beauty this Spring, especially when I spotted the first robin a few weeks ago. It made me cry, because it reminded me....So many things remind me, and I think this month will be, by far, my most difficult yet, since he departed. Today is the 21st Birthday, and departure day, of my first born son, Mickey. Tomorrow is six months since David left us. Soon it will be Mother's Day, followed by David's 18 th Birthday....I cannot think of much else, other than missing him. I try to keep occupied, but constantly my thoughts return to my boy, and missing him so. He was so looking forward to turning 18, so many dreams not yet fulfilled...never to be fulfilled...and I am empty, broken. I love you David Loring.
for you.... / Lisa Loring (mama)
When David was younger, probably between 13 and 14, I would bring him to the largest cemetery in Kenosha, and taught him to drive. Its a huge, old cemetery, full of trees and squirrels, and its really quite a nice place. This is where David's cremation ceremony took place. On Wednesday, Christina and I finally went to pick out a plot there for David. We had divided up much of his cremains for family and friends. Many of us have glass vials and various jewelry that carry a piece of dear David. I also have a lock of his hair, and his baby teeth.
We have an urn on our mantel, but some family members like the more traditional idea of being able to go to a cemetery, so of course we went to Greenridge. The spot we found for David couldn't be more perfect, unless of course he was back here with us. I chose 2 plots right under a huge tree, and I will buried with David when its my time. I bought an extra, for the boys, or my mother, depending on what life serves us next.
Choosing a monument, or headstone was much more difficult. It had to be perfect, and I literally looked for months until I saw this one pictured here. I plan to have his picture engraved on it, along with all of David's pertinent info. Like many others, I will also leave a quote on his monument. It will say, "Peace Bro". The night David was killed, he had gone into the living room, where his younger brother jack was sleeping. For some reason, he woke Jack up, telling him he was "going for a ride". The last thing he said to his little brother was, "peace Bro".
I Miss... / Lisa Loring (mama)
I miss your deep, husky sounding voice calling "Mama". I miss your sweet face, and always smiling grin. I miss hearing your laugh.I miss your soft, fuzzy, perfectly shaped head. I miss your little round belly. I miss giving you a massage when you were sore from work. I miss sitting and talking with you. I miss not seeing you when I wake in the morning, or in the middle of the night. I miss your damn lour music. I miss the messes you left wherever you went. I miss your presence, every day. I miss you, my best bud, my love, my blood, my life....How I Miss You!!!
WHEN GOD CREATED LITTLE BOYS / Lisa Loring (Mama)
God made a world out of his dreams, Of wondrous mountains, oceans and streams, Prairies and plains and wooded land, Then paused and thought,
"I need someone to stand on top of the mountains To conquer the seas, explore the plains and Climb the trees, someone to start small and grow, Sturdy, strong like a tree." and so...
He created boys, full of spirit and fun, To explore and conquer, to romp and run, With dirty faces, banged up chins With courageous hearts and boyish grins.
When He had completed the task He'd begun, He surely said, "That's a job well done."
~~ Author Unknown ~~
Footprints/ Lisa Loring (mama)
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it:
"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."
The LORD replied:
"My son, my precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
Letter From Matthew / Matthew Sellers (Friend driving car )
Happy Easter in Heaven / Lisa LORING (mama)
Dearest David, another First. A first Easter without you. It feels so different, as it does every day. I am comforted to know that you are safe and free, and will always live in the Kingdom of God. Still, my hearts aches for you, and I long to be reunited. Thanks you for being my son. You will live always in my heart. I love you and miss you very much!!! Love, Mama
David/ Robin Mom To Jason Snyder What a wonderful tribute to your son. He was like all of us, human. I am so sorry for your loss. David sounds like such an interesting person. I hope you find strength in all he was while on this earth. I admire you standing by his friend and I hope you are successful in holding responsible the person who supplied alcohol. Loosing a child is the worse thing we can go through ever. You are in my thoughts and prayers that you will find whatever it will take to go on and that David's brothers and friends will find a way to handle the loss of David in their lives.
sorry for your loss / Shirley Baer (none) I am so sorry for the loss of this handsome young man..I know you pain and your grief...You are in my thoughts and prayers always..May God watch over you and hold you up and help you taking one day at a time....Luv
Tributes and Condolences
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